Comfort zones

Some interesting insights occurred to me this last week. One, in reading about why strife and discordant things happen in our lives, the common theme I got was that they are meant to move us out of comfort zones. I've learned more spiritual things in the last 9 months since being diagnosed than I have in the last 9 years. Experiential knowledge, not stuff I read out of books. It's great to have that head knowledge, to know certain things with your mind, to actually 'experience' things...well I did say I was a visual, hands-on type of learner. I wanted to go back to college after my hysterectomy, once I was fully healed. I told Mother/Father God that I wanted to go back. They plopped me back into a school alright, only Death is the Teacher here. And, man, am I learning things. Experiencing things.

A friend of mine at work, Bill, he's gone through his own situation with this form of enemy and we talk a lot. He studies philosophy. We spoke about the 'Why' of it all. He said he had gotten past the 'why me?' stage and was now in the 'why not me?' stage.

As he spoke I realized he was right on the money. I believe the statistics say that 1 in 4 people will get cancer. If we got it, that means the person next to us dodged a bullet and we took it for them. Why? Because maybe we can handle it better than they could have if faced with it. This is all purely speculative but in a metaphorical sense, I believe Bill and I are strong in our fights, enough to say 'Okay, why not me? I'll take the bullet for another person.'

Bill and I both believe we'll beat this enemy. My friend, Julie, says, "Beat it bloody." I keep seeing this black mass in my body cowering in a corner, quivering with fear each time I go after it with my anger, my music, my positive thoughts, my prayers, my Essiac Tea and now...Raphael. One of the Archangels.

I've never read the Apocrypha. I have an Oxford Study Bible with the Apocrypha and wanted to read these books. As i was skimming through Tobit I found the name Raphael. My boy. The Angel of Healing. I read the story of Tobias and the fish. Raphael did not save Tobias from the fish, he instructed Tobias how to deal with the fish and how to use the heart and liver and gall parts for healing. As I was reading how Tobias used the heart and liver as incense to drive away a 'dark demon', the image of the darkened mass in my body hit me. I don't have fish hearts or liver, but...I can take Cod Liver Oil in capsule form to help with my immune system. Shark liver oil as well. I figure it can't hurt and if I can see it going after the darkness inside and driving it away...on a symbolical level, it may just be a message to try it and see what manifests. The liver is a filter in our bodies, eliminating the toxins. In the story of Tobias the fish liver was used to beat back a demonic influence, to drive away darkness. If I can merge that spiritual angle to a physical one, it may be just another tool to use in the 'mind over matter' way of fighting.

I'll be heading out to get some of that liver oil, even fish oil in general with the Omega 3's, and giving it a good college try.

I always wondered why I saw pictures of Raphael carrying a fish. :-)

Rock on!