Yesterday, on my way to my heart scan, I drove east...straight into the most beautiful sunrise I had ever seen. Incredible! I told my friend Julie that it was as though Mother/Father God was tapping me on the shoulder saying: "We're with you. It's going to be fine." At the same time I was playing "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin on my CD Player. It was a powerful spiritual moment for me. When Julie heard my message that I left on her voice mail, she said that the line "I've never seen a dawn like this before" from The 69 Eyes' song: "Sister of Charity" went through her mind. I decided to post the song and lyrics here. It's incredibly beautiful. The thing to do is listen with ear phones if possible. The full effect of the chanting sends chills up and down your body. Uh, that's a good thing, btw. ;) (The very ending is the lead singer to 69 Eyes, Jyrki 69, talking about Unicef. He's the Goodwill Ambassador from Finland to Unicef. You hear him speak in his native tongue and isn't it a very flowing and beautiful language?)
Sister Of Charity
A new day for a mission
Another sunrise in your heart
Gimme tears of the wrong
The hate of convicts
The glamour of the damned
Rule of Benedict
I've never seen the dawn like this before
Tears of the night turn to diamonds in your eyes
In the face of the world's ugliness
Sister of charity
Remains a mystery
Love shines over aggression
Another wound heals in your heart
Gimme fears of the strong
The warfare politics
The decay of the west
Rule of Benedict
I've never seen the dawn like this before
Tears of the night turn to diamonds in your eyes
In the face of the world's ugliness
Sister of charity
Remains a mystery
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Comfort zones
Some interesting insights occurred to me this last week. One, in reading about why strife and discordant things happen in our lives, the common theme I got was that they are meant to move us out of comfort zones. I've learned more spiritual things in the last 9 months since being diagnosed than I have in the last 9 years. Experiential knowledge, not stuff I read out of books. It's great to have that head knowledge, to know certain things with your mind, to actually 'experience' things...well I did say I was a visual, hands-on type of learner. I wanted to go back to college after my hysterectomy, once I was fully healed. I told Mother/Father God that I wanted to go back. They plopped me back into a school alright, only Death is the Teacher here. And, man, am I learning things. Experiencing things.
A friend of mine at work, Bill, he's gone through his own situation with this form of enemy and we talk a lot. He studies philosophy. We spoke about the 'Why' of it all. He said he had gotten past the 'why me?' stage and was now in the 'why not me?' stage.
As he spoke I realized he was right on the money. I believe the statistics say that 1 in 4 people will get cancer. If we got it, that means the person next to us dodged a bullet and we took it for them. Why? Because maybe we can handle it better than they could have if faced with it. This is all purely speculative but in a metaphorical sense, I believe Bill and I are strong in our fights, enough to say 'Okay, why not me? I'll take the bullet for another person.'
Bill and I both believe we'll beat this enemy. My friend, Julie, says, "Beat it bloody." I keep seeing this black mass in my body cowering in a corner, quivering with fear each time I go after it with my anger, my music, my positive thoughts, my prayers, my Essiac Tea and now...Raphael. One of the Archangels.
I've never read the Apocrypha. I have an Oxford Study Bible with the Apocrypha and wanted to read these books. As i was skimming through Tobit I found the name Raphael. My boy. The Angel of Healing. I read the story of Tobias and the fish. Raphael did not save Tobias from the fish, he instructed Tobias how to deal with the fish and how to use the heart and liver and gall parts for healing. As I was reading how Tobias used the heart and liver as incense to drive away a 'dark demon', the image of the darkened mass in my body hit me. I don't have fish hearts or liver, but...I can take Cod Liver Oil in capsule form to help with my immune system. Shark liver oil as well. I figure it can't hurt and if I can see it going after the darkness inside and driving it away...on a symbolical level, it may just be a message to try it and see what manifests. The liver is a filter in our bodies, eliminating the toxins. In the story of Tobias the fish liver was used to beat back a demonic influence, to drive away darkness. If I can merge that spiritual angle to a physical one, it may be just another tool to use in the 'mind over matter' way of fighting.
I'll be heading out to get some of that liver oil, even fish oil in general with the Omega 3's, and giving it a good college try.
I always wondered why I saw pictures of Raphael carrying a fish. :-)
Rock on!
A friend of mine at work, Bill, he's gone through his own situation with this form of enemy and we talk a lot. He studies philosophy. We spoke about the 'Why' of it all. He said he had gotten past the 'why me?' stage and was now in the 'why not me?' stage.
As he spoke I realized he was right on the money. I believe the statistics say that 1 in 4 people will get cancer. If we got it, that means the person next to us dodged a bullet and we took it for them. Why? Because maybe we can handle it better than they could have if faced with it. This is all purely speculative but in a metaphorical sense, I believe Bill and I are strong in our fights, enough to say 'Okay, why not me? I'll take the bullet for another person.'
Bill and I both believe we'll beat this enemy. My friend, Julie, says, "Beat it bloody." I keep seeing this black mass in my body cowering in a corner, quivering with fear each time I go after it with my anger, my music, my positive thoughts, my prayers, my Essiac Tea and now...Raphael. One of the Archangels.
I've never read the Apocrypha. I have an Oxford Study Bible with the Apocrypha and wanted to read these books. As i was skimming through Tobit I found the name Raphael. My boy. The Angel of Healing. I read the story of Tobias and the fish. Raphael did not save Tobias from the fish, he instructed Tobias how to deal with the fish and how to use the heart and liver and gall parts for healing. As I was reading how Tobias used the heart and liver as incense to drive away a 'dark demon', the image of the darkened mass in my body hit me. I don't have fish hearts or liver, but...I can take Cod Liver Oil in capsule form to help with my immune system. Shark liver oil as well. I figure it can't hurt and if I can see it going after the darkness inside and driving it away...on a symbolical level, it may just be a message to try it and see what manifests. The liver is a filter in our bodies, eliminating the toxins. In the story of Tobias the fish liver was used to beat back a demonic influence, to drive away darkness. If I can merge that spiritual angle to a physical one, it may be just another tool to use in the 'mind over matter' way of fighting.
I'll be heading out to get some of that liver oil, even fish oil in general with the Omega 3's, and giving it a good college try.
I always wondered why I saw pictures of Raphael carrying a fish. :-)
Rock on!
Trying Silent Lucidity again.
You have to go watch on YouTube as embedding has been disabled here on request, but hit the picture and the link to the YouTube video will appear. Hit that and it will take you to this incredible video Queensryche did. Enjoy! The lyrics to the song are written below. I'm leaving the original post done earlier as it has the lyrics within that video, but I just loved the imagery to this video as well. :)
Take a gander and a listen. I loved this, especially the words during the solo (written out here for us to understand. A wonderful lyrical portrait of visualization to assist in beating back 'the situation'. )
Lyrics:
Hush now, don't you cry
Wipe away the teardrop from your eye
You're lying safe in bed
It was all a bad dream
Spinning in your head
Your mind tricked you to feel the pain
Of someone close to you leaving the game of life
So here it is, another chance
Wide awake you face the day
Your dream is over... or has it just begun?
There's a place I like to hide
A doorway that I run through in the night
Relax child, you were there
But only didn't realize and you were scared
It's a place where you will learn
To face your fears, retrace the years
And ride the whims of your mind
Commanding in another world
Suddenly you hear and see
This magic new dimension
I- will be watching over you
I- am gonna help you see it through
I- will protect you in the night
I- am smiling next to you, in Silent Lucidity
[spoken during solo]
(Visualize your dream)
(Record it in the present tense)
(Put it into a permanent form)
(If you persist in your efforts)
(You can achieve dream control)
(Dream control)
(How are we feeling today, better??)
(Dream control, dream control)
(Help me)
If you open your mind for me
You won't rely on open eyes to see
The walls you built within
Come tumbling down, and a new world will begin
Living twice at once you learn
You're safe from pain in the dream domain
A soul set free to fly
A round trip journey in your head
Master of illusion, can you realize
Your dream's alive, you can be the guide but...
I- will be watching over you
I- am gonna help to see it through
I- will protect you in the night
I- am smiling next to you....
Take a gander and a listen. I loved this, especially the words during the solo (written out here for us to understand. A wonderful lyrical portrait of visualization to assist in beating back 'the situation'. )
Lyrics:
Hush now, don't you cry
Wipe away the teardrop from your eye
You're lying safe in bed
It was all a bad dream
Spinning in your head
Your mind tricked you to feel the pain
Of someone close to you leaving the game of life
So here it is, another chance
Wide awake you face the day
Your dream is over... or has it just begun?
There's a place I like to hide
A doorway that I run through in the night
Relax child, you were there
But only didn't realize and you were scared
It's a place where you will learn
To face your fears, retrace the years
And ride the whims of your mind
Commanding in another world
Suddenly you hear and see
This magic new dimension
I- will be watching over you
I- am gonna help you see it through
I- will protect you in the night
I- am smiling next to you, in Silent Lucidity
[spoken during solo]
(Visualize your dream)
(Record it in the present tense)
(Put it into a permanent form)
(If you persist in your efforts)
(You can achieve dream control)
(Dream control)
(How are we feeling today, better??)
(Dream control, dream control)
(Help me)
If you open your mind for me
You won't rely on open eyes to see
The walls you built within
Come tumbling down, and a new world will begin
Living twice at once you learn
You're safe from pain in the dream domain
A soul set free to fly
A round trip journey in your head
Master of illusion, can you realize
Your dream's alive, you can be the guide but...
I- will be watching over you
I- am gonna help to see it through
I- will protect you in the night
I- am smiling next to you....
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Little Gifts Throughout the Day...
The night before last, I pulled out my little meditation book on the 72 Names of God and just skimmed through the entries...one caught my eye. To lead up to why this one caught my eye, let me give you some background to make the impact a bit more poignant...
About 20 years ago, give or take a year, when I was thinking that I was weird because I'd never had a boyfriend, or that I thought I never would (Now I don't care if I ever do...time heals it seems. ;) ) Anyway, things just made me feel like I didn't belong in this world. I had no real vocation, no real dreams other than writing and even that was more hobby than something I wanted to focus on as a career. I was in such despair one Saturday that I wanted to end it. I mean really end it. In sobbing tears I planned out my suicide note, how I was going to do it. I couldn't stop sobbing. For hours I sat on the couch and begged God to give me some reason to go on. Doubled over in emotional pain I went to the bathroom to splash cold water over my swollen eyes. I needed to go to the store and get the pills and booze. As I was bent over the sink I heard in my spirit God's distinct inner voice speaking. He said: "If you kill yourself, you'll never know the blessings I have for you down the road of your life."
That stopped me. I literally crawled out of the bathroom back to the couch in the living room and plopped down, emotionally spent, still uncertain, but with an ounce of hope that my life was meant for something.
Now I have an inside joke going on with God. I tell him, "You didn't want me to kill myself back then...you promised blessings to be discovered. You can't have me now...not when those blessing are making themselves known in such a powerful way." Every day now I say; "You didn't want me then, you can't have me now." LOL!
And thus I come to the entry I found...
"Diamond In The Rough..."
I have the power to transform all of my hardships into beauty and strength.
I will get into a positive head space, knowing that from there, anything is possible.
The challenges that lie before me are there for a reason,
and the Light will allow me to learn from them and grow--
I become my potential.
All the blessings that are already mine will bring even more fulfillment and joy.
My soul's longings will be answered
and my "negative" situations will turn beautiful.
(Emphasis mine)
During a meditation that my friend Julie led me on, I was given a sword in my mind. She wanted me to name it. The second she asked me to do that, birds started singing outside my window. Lots of them, chirping loudly. I said, "Birdsong". The sword was thus christened. Yesterday, in preparing documents to be archived at work, I stumbled upon the last name of a student I'd seen a few days ago: "Birdsong." I kid you not. I stared at that name for about a minute. Of all last names to have and I stumble upon it twice in a week: "Birdsong."
In my mind I took my sword and stabbed at my cancer killing it, telling it to get the hell out of my body. I picked up my meditation book and wanted to find the above entry once again. I didn't have far to look. I immediately opened up to it without any searching. I read it again, felt the comfort, the joy.
In an earlier entry I posted about Led Zeppelin's song: "Achilles Last Stand", the song in which Jimmy's guitar solo is used by me to attack the tumor and destroy it. It's a song that is NEVER played on the radio. I've NEVER heard it played on my classic rock stations. Yesterday, as I was listening to a station here called "The Sound", they began a week of music A-Z at 3:00. At 3:14 they played "Achilles Last Stand". All day yesterday it was as if the Universe was tapping me on the shoulder saying, "We're here with you. Hang in there. The fight is already won, you just have to realize the 'blessings for you down the road'."
(Side note: Notice the time they played the song...add 3+1+4 together and you get 8...the number of new beginnings. When I made my Essiac tea the other night, as it boiled I had Barbi pray with me over the phone for Mother/Father God to nourish the tea to my body and for healing in all things in our lives. Our prayer lasted 8 minutes. New beginnings. The number 8 seems to be popping up a lot in the last few days.)
A few days ago I told my sister-in-luv, Barbi, that if I roll over and give up, it would be like committing suicide. I didn't do it back then, why in the hell would I do it now?
I have blessings waiting for me 'down the road'. And: "All the blessings that are already mine will bring even more fulfillment and joy." :)
Life is good.
Rock on!
About 20 years ago, give or take a year, when I was thinking that I was weird because I'd never had a boyfriend, or that I thought I never would (Now I don't care if I ever do...time heals it seems. ;) ) Anyway, things just made me feel like I didn't belong in this world. I had no real vocation, no real dreams other than writing and even that was more hobby than something I wanted to focus on as a career. I was in such despair one Saturday that I wanted to end it. I mean really end it. In sobbing tears I planned out my suicide note, how I was going to do it. I couldn't stop sobbing. For hours I sat on the couch and begged God to give me some reason to go on. Doubled over in emotional pain I went to the bathroom to splash cold water over my swollen eyes. I needed to go to the store and get the pills and booze. As I was bent over the sink I heard in my spirit God's distinct inner voice speaking. He said: "If you kill yourself, you'll never know the blessings I have for you down the road of your life."
That stopped me. I literally crawled out of the bathroom back to the couch in the living room and plopped down, emotionally spent, still uncertain, but with an ounce of hope that my life was meant for something.
Now I have an inside joke going on with God. I tell him, "You didn't want me to kill myself back then...you promised blessings to be discovered. You can't have me now...not when those blessing are making themselves known in such a powerful way." Every day now I say; "You didn't want me then, you can't have me now." LOL!
And thus I come to the entry I found...
"Diamond In The Rough..."
I have the power to transform all of my hardships into beauty and strength.
I will get into a positive head space, knowing that from there, anything is possible.
The challenges that lie before me are there for a reason,
and the Light will allow me to learn from them and grow--
I become my potential.
All the blessings that are already mine will bring even more fulfillment and joy.
My soul's longings will be answered
and my "negative" situations will turn beautiful.
(Emphasis mine)
During a meditation that my friend Julie led me on, I was given a sword in my mind. She wanted me to name it. The second she asked me to do that, birds started singing outside my window. Lots of them, chirping loudly. I said, "Birdsong". The sword was thus christened. Yesterday, in preparing documents to be archived at work, I stumbled upon the last name of a student I'd seen a few days ago: "Birdsong." I kid you not. I stared at that name for about a minute. Of all last names to have and I stumble upon it twice in a week: "Birdsong."
In my mind I took my sword and stabbed at my cancer killing it, telling it to get the hell out of my body. I picked up my meditation book and wanted to find the above entry once again. I didn't have far to look. I immediately opened up to it without any searching. I read it again, felt the comfort, the joy.
In an earlier entry I posted about Led Zeppelin's song: "Achilles Last Stand", the song in which Jimmy's guitar solo is used by me to attack the tumor and destroy it. It's a song that is NEVER played on the radio. I've NEVER heard it played on my classic rock stations. Yesterday, as I was listening to a station here called "The Sound", they began a week of music A-Z at 3:00. At 3:14 they played "Achilles Last Stand". All day yesterday it was as if the Universe was tapping me on the shoulder saying, "We're here with you. Hang in there. The fight is already won, you just have to realize the 'blessings for you down the road'."
(Side note: Notice the time they played the song...add 3+1+4 together and you get 8...the number of new beginnings. When I made my Essiac tea the other night, as it boiled I had Barbi pray with me over the phone for Mother/Father God to nourish the tea to my body and for healing in all things in our lives. Our prayer lasted 8 minutes. New beginnings. The number 8 seems to be popping up a lot in the last few days.)
A few days ago I told my sister-in-luv, Barbi, that if I roll over and give up, it would be like committing suicide. I didn't do it back then, why in the hell would I do it now?
I have blessings waiting for me 'down the road'. And: "All the blessings that are already mine will bring even more fulfillment and joy." :)
Life is good.
Rock on!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Prayer experiment...
I'm using a special tea known as Essiac, used to combat cancer. I have to boil it for 10 minutes, refrigerate for 12 hours, re-boil for another 10 minutes and then let it cool. About 5:00 this afternoon, I'm calling my sister-in-luv for us to double the prayer/blessing over the tea as it boils for the first time. The image in my mind is Jesus turning water into wine. I believe in the power of Mother/Father God. I believe in healing. I have developed some slight pain, and the Doctor did say that it was 'possible' for the tumor to grow back without the chemo. Maybe it has, I'm hoping it hasn't, thinking it hasn't...believing it hasn't. The pain may just be scar tissue from the surgery as it exists in the area where the tumor in the uterus was located, the lower half of my abdomen. But pain is pain, and it causes doubt...I found in a book called "The 72 Names of God" a meditation that I want to share here...
It's called "Eliminating Negative Thoughts"...
I feel doubt, uncertainty. I am worried.
I am worried about [enter your concern here] cancer.
But I know it is an illusion. These thoughts that bring me down are not real, and as I face them, they grow smaller and smaller.
They disappear...
I can eliminate all of my dark thoughts.
I reach for the dial of the negative airwaves, the control over my ego,
and turn it down...down...off.
Silence.
My heart is open, and filling with the Light of the Creator--powerful, calming, whole.
I feel warmth and acceptance--of all people, of myself.
I see and hear the sounds of my soul, true signals from the Light.
I feel total certainty.
When I spoke this out loud just now, I felt the power inside of me. An internal pep-squad of positive faith. The more I spoke it, the more powerful it became. Doubt became less and less.
God spoke the world into existence. Jesus spoke healing and commanded the dead to rise with his words, his voice...his thoughts, which came before they were spoken.
Speaking, and thoughts, are powerful tools.
Last night, I needed a pep talk. I didn't call my brother and sister-in-luv because I had fear of becoming a complainer like my dad was before he left us in 1988. My dad constantly complained about his ailments. He would call me all the time, only to seek for sympathy. I began to hate getting his phone calls. You see he never did anything to change his circumstances. My brother assured me this morning that I'm not like my dad, that I am doing all I can to change this circumstance in my life. He and Barbi assured me that because what I'm going through is real, that I can call them even if it's five times a day to get a pep-talk.
Talking things out...speaking positive energy out loud...this is what prompts the energy to swarm the body and make things right. I love Jesus. I believe in his healing power.
Speak healing to yourself, believing that the Christ (or, if you prefer--The Universe) hears...Mother/Father God hears and works with you to make things right. You have to believe. Without it, the doubt becomes the monster and takes control. You have the power to defeat it. Doubt is a creep. And it creeps up on you without warning. It's a coward. Turn and shout at it and tell it to get the 'kitty-hell' out of your life. And if you need your family or your friends to help you shout, if the doubt has you under its thumb and you need help...call out to those who support you. Tell them you need a pep-talk. Together you can kill the doubt and hope will flow in like a wave. The doubt can be looked at as a dam, keeping the hope away from you. Once the dam explodes, the hope, in all of its powerful force, crashes through and fills you to overflowing.
The Hope is: "The Light of the Creator--powerful, calming, whole." You can: "see and hear the sounds of my soul, true signals from the Light."
This is why music and speaking...are such powerful weapons when fighting against unseen foes within the body, capable of DEFEATING THEM!
And so, when the tea boils, Barbi and I will be praying over it...using the power of words and faith to infuse the tea for Mother/Father God to bless it and nourish it to my body.
Rock (and speak) on!
It's called "Eliminating Negative Thoughts"...
I feel doubt, uncertainty. I am worried.
I am worried about [enter your concern here] cancer.
But I know it is an illusion. These thoughts that bring me down are not real, and as I face them, they grow smaller and smaller.
They disappear...
I can eliminate all of my dark thoughts.
I reach for the dial of the negative airwaves, the control over my ego,
and turn it down...down...off.
Silence.
My heart is open, and filling with the Light of the Creator--powerful, calming, whole.
I feel warmth and acceptance--of all people, of myself.
I see and hear the sounds of my soul, true signals from the Light.
I feel total certainty.
When I spoke this out loud just now, I felt the power inside of me. An internal pep-squad of positive faith. The more I spoke it, the more powerful it became. Doubt became less and less.
God spoke the world into existence. Jesus spoke healing and commanded the dead to rise with his words, his voice...his thoughts, which came before they were spoken.
Speaking, and thoughts, are powerful tools.
Last night, I needed a pep talk. I didn't call my brother and sister-in-luv because I had fear of becoming a complainer like my dad was before he left us in 1988. My dad constantly complained about his ailments. He would call me all the time, only to seek for sympathy. I began to hate getting his phone calls. You see he never did anything to change his circumstances. My brother assured me this morning that I'm not like my dad, that I am doing all I can to change this circumstance in my life. He and Barbi assured me that because what I'm going through is real, that I can call them even if it's five times a day to get a pep-talk.
Talking things out...speaking positive energy out loud...this is what prompts the energy to swarm the body and make things right. I love Jesus. I believe in his healing power.
Speak healing to yourself, believing that the Christ (or, if you prefer--The Universe) hears...Mother/Father God hears and works with you to make things right. You have to believe. Without it, the doubt becomes the monster and takes control. You have the power to defeat it. Doubt is a creep. And it creeps up on you without warning. It's a coward. Turn and shout at it and tell it to get the 'kitty-hell' out of your life. And if you need your family or your friends to help you shout, if the doubt has you under its thumb and you need help...call out to those who support you. Tell them you need a pep-talk. Together you can kill the doubt and hope will flow in like a wave. The doubt can be looked at as a dam, keeping the hope away from you. Once the dam explodes, the hope, in all of its powerful force, crashes through and fills you to overflowing.
The Hope is: "The Light of the Creator--powerful, calming, whole." You can: "see and hear the sounds of my soul, true signals from the Light."
This is why music and speaking...are such powerful weapons when fighting against unseen foes within the body, capable of DEFEATING THEM!
And so, when the tea boils, Barbi and I will be praying over it...using the power of words and faith to infuse the tea for Mother/Father God to bless it and nourish it to my body.
Rock (and speak) on!
Queensryche: "Silent Lucidity"
A fantastically beautiful song and words!
Take a gander and a listen. I loved this, especially the words during the solo (written out here for us to understand. A wonderful lyrical portrait of visualization to assist in beating back 'the situation'.)
Lyrics:
Hush now, don't you cry
Wipe away the teardrop from your eye
You're lying safe in bed
It was all a bad dream
Spinning in your head
Your mind tricked you to feel the pain
Of someone close to you leaving the game of life
So here it is, another chance
Wide awake you face the day
Your dream is over... or has it just begun?
There's a place I like to hide
A doorway that I run through in the night
Relax child, you were there
But only didn't realize and you were scared
It's a place where you will learn
To face your fears, retrace the years
And ride the whims of your mind
Commanding in another world
Suddenly you hear and see
This magic new dimension
I- will be watching over you
I- am gonna help you see it through
I- will protect you in the night
I- am smiling next to you, in Silent Lucidity
[spoken during solo]
(Visualize your dream)
(Record it in the present tense)
(Put it into a permanent form)
(If you persist in your efforts)
(You can achieve dream control)
(Dream control)
(How are we feeling today, better??)
(Dream control, dream control)
(Help me)
If you open your mind for me
You won't rely on open eyes to see
The walls you built within
Come tumbling down, and a new world will begin
Living twice at once you learn
You're safe from pain in the dream domain
A soul set free to fly
A round trip journey in your head
Master of illusion, can you realize
Your dream's alive, you can be the guide but...
I- will be watching over you
I- am gonna help to see it through
I- will protect you in the night
I- am smiling next to you....
Take a gander and a listen. I loved this, especially the words during the solo (written out here for us to understand. A wonderful lyrical portrait of visualization to assist in beating back 'the situation'.
Lyrics:
Hush now, don't you cry
Wipe away the teardrop from your eye
You're lying safe in bed
It was all a bad dream
Spinning in your head
Your mind tricked you to feel the pain
Of someone close to you leaving the game of life
So here it is, another chance
Wide awake you face the day
Your dream is over... or has it just begun?
There's a place I like to hide
A doorway that I run through in the night
Relax child, you were there
But only didn't realize and you were scared
It's a place where you will learn
To face your fears, retrace the years
And ride the whims of your mind
Commanding in another world
Suddenly you hear and see
This magic new dimension
I- will be watching over you
I- am gonna help you see it through
I- will protect you in the night
I- am smiling next to you, in Silent Lucidity
[spoken during solo]
(Visualize your dream)
(Record it in the present tense)
(Put it into a permanent form)
(If you persist in your efforts)
(You can achieve dream control)
(Dream control)
(How are we feeling today, better??)
(Dream control, dream control)
(Help me)
If you open your mind for me
You won't rely on open eyes to see
The walls you built within
Come tumbling down, and a new world will begin
Living twice at once you learn
You're safe from pain in the dream domain
A soul set free to fly
A round trip journey in your head
Master of illusion, can you realize
Your dream's alive, you can be the guide but...
I- will be watching over you
I- am gonna help to see it through
I- will protect you in the night
I- am smiling next to you....
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Death Is The Teacher - A Poem
A friend of mine, Paige Hudson, wrote a poem for me when I told her about my 'Death Is The Teacher' vision (talked about in an earlier post: "What I would lose if I let Death Take me now.")
I wanted to share it with you all...:-)
The path ahead is narrow
And leads to unknown lands
But raise your eyes, look
All whom you have touched are near
You travel not alone.
Death is the teacher
Everyday miracles seen with the clarity
Of a heart serene
Lessons of life and love, peace and eternity
Guide the spirit home.
The regrets of yesterday, cast off
Like so much jetsam
Lighten the load and free the soul
Breathe in joy, find your way
You travel not alone.
I was very touched by this beautiful piece. Thanks, Paige. I remember when I read this for the first time, both crying and smiling. :-)
Hugs,
Jan
I wanted to share it with you all...:-)
The path ahead is narrow
And leads to unknown lands
But raise your eyes, look
All whom you have touched are near
You travel not alone.
Death is the teacher
Everyday miracles seen with the clarity
Of a heart serene
Lessons of life and love, peace and eternity
Guide the spirit home.
The regrets of yesterday, cast off
Like so much jetsam
Lighten the load and free the soul
Breathe in joy, find your way
You travel not alone.
I was very touched by this beautiful piece. Thanks, Paige. I remember when I read this for the first time, both crying and smiling. :-)
Hugs,
Jan
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Anger can be a good thing...if we let it be.
Barbi and I had a great discussion this past weekend while I was visiting my family. We went to Barnes and Noble and I had been wanting to re-read "'Salem's Lot" by Stephen King. I snatched it up. Barbi bought a book by a Christian author, Max Lucado, called "Fearless", about how to cast aside fear. We got started talking about horror stories and fear. I said that I can't watch horror movies, but that reading horror stories is okay for me. I need to face my fears and beat them back, I need to face darkness and not let it strike fear inside. "'Salem's Lot" was really the first horror story I ever read back when I was in high school. It freaked me out. The movie with David Soul (I was a big David Soul fan) freaked me out. But, it was a good vampire story. It captured how one man and one young boy faced fear and beat it back enough to escape their situation.
The 'situation' I'm in is something that needs to be faced, to beat back, to push it aside. In facing darkness, I am able to fight it, to not let it get the upper hand, to defy it, control it and say: "You're not going to win! I am!"
If you are facing a fearful situation, ask yourself how you can defeat it, how can this make you stronger? What lessons in developing a defensive posture can you glean from it? My situation gets me angry. Enough to yell and scream at it, to get angry with it, face it and beat it down.
Two incidents happened in my life when I was a child. One, I was molested by my first step-father over the span of 6 years. One day when I was alone at home, he came home from work and we talked about what he had done to me. He said that if I told anyone what he had done, it: 'Will be off your back.' I had no idea what those words meant, but I knew they were a threat. He left a few minutes after delivering that threat and I waited for his truck to get out of sight before I called my mom. I had determined that he shouldn't have threatened me. By doing that he made it clear what he had been doing to me was wrong. I told my mom and everything escalated from there. We got away from him, moved to another state. Our lives changed...for the better. He never touched me again.
The other time was when I was in elementary school in Colorado. A boy tried to beat me up. I was seeing a friend of mine being threatened by another boy by his putting his hands to her neck and forcing her to the ground. I said for him to stop it that he could hurt her. His friend came up to me and tried put his hand to the back of my neck and began to squeeze, ordering me to get to my knees. I was furious and refused. I kept yelling, "I will not!" I got scared, but my anger was more powerful. I refused to do what he told me to do. Finally a teacher intervened, the boys were suspended. My friend and I were only rattled, no injuries. Still, I could not believe how angry I had gotten when he tried to control me. How I refused to do what he wanted even though he was squeezing the back of my neck. I just yelled at him that no I was not going to do what he wanted.
I choose to fight this thing inside me that is nothing but a bully. My friend Julie said of this tumor, "The last cry of a dying POS." I asked her what POS was, she replied, "Piece of Sh--." I have now officially adopted POS as this damn tumor's nickname. Cancer is a bully. It sneaks up and attacks from out of nowhere and crawls away when you turn and fight back. It tries to scare you. Instead, get angry and fight back. Use that anger as a weapon. You become determined to not let the enemy win.
Anger can be a very powerful weapon in the arsenal to beat back disease...and fear.
Rock on!
The 'situation' I'm in is something that needs to be faced, to beat back, to push it aside. In facing darkness, I am able to fight it, to not let it get the upper hand, to defy it, control it and say: "You're not going to win! I am!"
If you are facing a fearful situation, ask yourself how you can defeat it, how can this make you stronger? What lessons in developing a defensive posture can you glean from it? My situation gets me angry. Enough to yell and scream at it, to get angry with it, face it and beat it down.
Two incidents happened in my life when I was a child. One, I was molested by my first step-father over the span of 6 years. One day when I was alone at home, he came home from work and we talked about what he had done to me. He said that if I told anyone what he had done, it: 'Will be off your back.' I had no idea what those words meant, but I knew they were a threat. He left a few minutes after delivering that threat and I waited for his truck to get out of sight before I called my mom. I had determined that he shouldn't have threatened me. By doing that he made it clear what he had been doing to me was wrong. I told my mom and everything escalated from there. We got away from him, moved to another state. Our lives changed...for the better. He never touched me again.
The other time was when I was in elementary school in Colorado. A boy tried to beat me up. I was seeing a friend of mine being threatened by another boy by his putting his hands to her neck and forcing her to the ground. I said for him to stop it that he could hurt her. His friend came up to me and tried put his hand to the back of my neck and began to squeeze, ordering me to get to my knees. I was furious and refused. I kept yelling, "I will not!" I got scared, but my anger was more powerful. I refused to do what he told me to do. Finally a teacher intervened, the boys were suspended. My friend and I were only rattled, no injuries. Still, I could not believe how angry I had gotten when he tried to control me. How I refused to do what he wanted even though he was squeezing the back of my neck. I just yelled at him that no I was not going to do what he wanted.
I choose to fight this thing inside me that is nothing but a bully. My friend Julie said of this tumor, "The last cry of a dying POS." I asked her what POS was, she replied, "Piece of Sh--." I have now officially adopted POS as this damn tumor's nickname. Cancer is a bully. It sneaks up and attacks from out of nowhere and crawls away when you turn and fight back. It tries to scare you. Instead, get angry and fight back. Use that anger as a weapon. You become determined to not let the enemy win.
Anger can be a very powerful weapon in the arsenal to beat back disease...and fear.
Rock on!
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