When I first began treatment, I had two cycles of chemo when my doctor wanted me to start radiation treatment. I began radiation on March 8th, 2010. I was scheduled for two weeks. So many things happened during this time, it's difficult to pinpoint where to begin sharing. The tumor is in the pelvic area, above the vagina, right where the tumor was located in the uterus, lower left pelvic region, spreading to the middle. The radiation was centered there. The treatments only lasted about 5 minutes, but after a few days I began to get ill. Diarrhea, vomiting. My friend, Carmen, offered to bring me to her house to watch 'Duran Duran - Live From London' one night. We are both Duran Duran fans and I was so wanting to do this with her. My mom was staying with me so she was there when I had a vomiting episode minutes before Carmen showed up. When she did arrive she said she would take care of me, and I was determined to do this thing. Mom saw my face before I left, fighting off the nausea. I went off and forgot my ginger-ale. Carmen, bless her heart, sent her husband to go get me some, which, bless his heart, he did without any hesitation. We put the DVD in, and Carmen's sister showed up and the three of us had a wonderful time. I laid on the couch, my feet hanging over Carmen's lap. We sang, waved our arms, really had a wonderful time.
When I came home that night, I was smiling. Mom looked at me and said, "You need music. The difference in your face is like night and day." I said, "I have a CD player around here I can use, but I just need to find it." She commented heavily on how the music had worked to pick me up out of the pit. The next day, my friend Jim came over and talked to me about what I needed to do to put my mind in the framework of fighting the cancer. He guided me on a meditation and knew about my love of Led Zeppelin, asking me about the guitar solo for me to call up in my mind as a means of attacking the tumor. Afterwards, he said, "You're full of knowledge and desire, but where's your heart?" I said, "I would have to say my heart is really in the music I listen to." He said, "Then that's what you need to do, surround yourself with music." He had not spoken to my mom about this. In 24 hours I got two similar messages...use music.
The next week I had more radiation. I got so sick when I came home one night from that days' treatment that when I was done vomiting I laid on my bed. My mom put a cool cloth to my face and threw my CD player next to me with the earphones. "Turn your music on!" she commanded. Zeppelin's "The Song Remains The Same" disc 1 was inside. I hooked up and Mom said that within just a few minutes, my face relaxed, and the trauma began to subside. It did. Jimmy's guitar playing, Robert's voice, the drums, the bass and keyboards...all of it took me away from the bad.
Later that week, I went out and invested in an MP3 player, which I use constantly. Both Duran Duran and Led Zeppelin are on there, as well as other groups and singers. And it's true...music heals...the spirit, the body. Think about what groups you like to listen to and determine which ones really pull you out of whatever doldrums or crises you find yourself in...what do these musicians and singers do for you to lift your spirits? Is it the lyrics, the voice, the background instrumentation, the melodies? All of the above? You may be surprised at what music really does for you. I never knew until I started going through this, how wonderful it is to let the music take us away from what is bringing us down. Oh, I had an inkling, sure. Led Zeppelin has always moved me in ways that is hard to explain, but to really bring joy in the midst of battling cancer...no words can really give that experience justice. :)
Rock on!
(Stay tuned for Miracles Part 2-the support of strangers.) ::grin::
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